anti-utah tour part 3, the saga continutes

I’ll start this off by saying that all my pictures are now up and if you haven’t seen enough of Eve and I’s road trip you can check it out. Really if the pictures are that intriguing you should get out on the road yourself and expend a couple rolls of film. I’m sure it’s much more satisfying than looking at our pictures but I do like to share.

So the third and hopefully final part of the Anti-Utah Tour (saga) is upon us but something tells me that we will see a number four, due to my inability to abbreviate. Thankfully T is more than happy to remind me of ineptness.

I left off with us saying our good-byes in Oregon and heading east towards the Big Sky state. The trip out of town proved to be a little more than I bargained for. First off we needed gas, no big deal right? Well in Oregon getting gas in the early morning is a big deal because their damn gas stations are closed. Its one of those “you’re too ignorant to pump your own gas” states or maybe its a “this is the only way to battle our growing unemployment problem” state. Regardless we had to search around for a gas station that was actually open. Once we found one that was open, the only person this gas establishment could find to work the crack-of-dawn shift was a sketchy looking Vietnam Vet that nearly tackled my skinny ass as I meandered over to the pump to insert my credit card. I had no intention of pumping, I knew better than to pump, but apparently the state of Oregon also believes that credit card transactions with a gas pump are too dangerous for persons wielding a 2 ton killing machine at 90 miles per hour down five lanes of traffic, at night, in the rain. Yes pumping gas is too dangerous for drivers in Oregon. Anyway after I let Lieutenant Dan man-handle my credit card, pump my gas, and call me Charlie under his breath for not tipping, we got on the road. This portion of the trip was definitely the most challenging weather wise. Unfortunately for Eve there was standing water on the road and more pouring down in buckets. As trucks passed she was literally blinded for a moment or two and the small lakes on the left side of the road were inviting Booger in for a tasty bite of the cement divider. Eve navigated the road for a couple hours quite impressively and I say navigate because I’m pretty sure over half of the time she was hydroplaning instead of driving. We really didn’t expect any of the bad driving weather till the mountains but this was the worst portion of the whole trip.

We drove east on I-84 past some gorgeous hills and waterfalls, but it was mostly pretty foggy. I’m sure it would have been glorious views if we could have seen more than 100 yards. Either way the roadside scenery was pretty nice while I stayed awake. As we approached the turn to go north towards Kennewick we passed a poplar tree farm that was very eerie, especially in the early AM with the sun coming up, barely glowing through the fog of all these trees in perfect rows. I’m pretty sure one of these new wave horror films will be using it as a back drop in the near future.

Imagine that abbreviating isn’t working

So we continued on through Kennewick, up to Spokane, into Idaho across the continental divide, and into Montana. At this point we expected lots of snow and bad driving condition but were surprised by the lack of snow and clear roads. I’m sure once that storm we just drove through hit the mountains, it would have been a different story but for the time being we were able haul ass. We passed through Idaho without much fanfare, lots of Idaho, Udaho jokes were had and we entered what I consider my home state in good time, in the rain. As a youth I really took the “wide open spaces” of Montana for granted and told myself the city was for me and I would never want to live there again. Well like most I was ignorant in my youth (still am, young and ignorant that is), not only should I have enjoyed more of what Montana had to offer I don’t think it would be far fetched to think I could end up there some day. We drove top speeds across the Clark Fork river 8,000 times and into Missoula. From there we took a good old Montana two lane into Great Falls were we shared my mother's great home cooking with my aunt and uncle. While my uncle and I argued politics and social issues with made up on-the-spot facts and figures just for the sake of argument After the argument subsided we crashed. 12 hours of driving will take it out of you, ya know?

Wow I suck at abbreviating, its official

I will end this segment here, I hope you stick around to hear the about the life in the VIP and the one thing you need to know in order to not look ridiculous while dancing. Even if you’re white, yes even works if you’re Montana white, so I’m told. Thanks for reading……